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Saturday, December 21, 2013

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Santa Banta Jokes In Hindi Biography

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SantaBanta Jokes
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Universal Jokes > SantaBanta ( 1 - 4 of 561 ) Page: 1
Not at Home!
A visitor to Santa, "Which is Mr Banta's flat?"

Santa: Please come with me.

The visitor is taken on stairs to the 3rd floor.

The visitor rings the bell and there is no response. He rings it again and again and still no one answers. Visitor: I think he is not in. Santa: Yeah, he has gone out. He'll be back in the evening!

Seniors' Dating Ads...
Dating Ads for Seniors found in a Florida Newspaper. You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north. These are actual ads seen in "The Villages", a Florida newspaper.

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty. 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flossier to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

Bank Robbers!
Santa and Banta decided to rob a bank but during the process of the robbery they mess it up, but they do managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor.

They do manage to take one sack each.

After a while they meet again and one asks the other...

Santa: What did you find in your sack?

Banta: Ten lakh Rupees!

Santa: Wow... that's a lot of money!' What did you do with the cash?

Banta: I bought a house. How about your sack?

Santa: It was full of bills.

Banta: And what did you do with them?

Santa: Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off...

Company Policy!
Banta, an eager young man entered his prospective boss's office for an interview.

"One thing our company is very particular about is cleanliness. I hope you wiped your shoe on the door mat while coming in?" said the boss.

"Yes sir," Banta replied promptly.

The boss continued, "One more thing we're very particular about is honesty. There is no door mat outside!"

Fussy Wife
Banta had been arrested and was now up before the judge.

The judge asks, "Do you admit you broke into the same clothes shop 3 times?"

"Yes," replies Banta.

"Could you please tell the court what you stole." asks the judge.

"I stole a dress, your honour," replies Banta.

"Just one dress? But you admitted to breaking in 3 times," says the judge.

"Yes I did, your honour," says Banta, "but on two of those occasions, I broke in to return the dress I took before."

"Return the dress? Why? I don't understand," says the judge.

"Because my wife Preeto didn't like the design, your honour."

Second appendix!
Santa calls up the doc at 2 AM. "Doc, my wife is having severe abdomen pain. I think it's her appendix."

"What nonsense!" says the doc sleepily.

"I took out your wife's appendix two years ago. Go back to sleep."

Five minutes later, the phone rings and it's Santa again.

"Doc, I'm sure it's her appendix."

"Oh God!" the doctor groaned.

"Did you ever hear of anyone having a second appendix?"

"No...," says Santa. "But I'm sure you must have heard of someone having a second wife..!!!!"

The Gorilla Catcher!
A man wakes up one morning and found a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an advert for "Gorilla Catchers" He calls the number, and the gorilla cathcer, Santa, says he will be over in 30 minutes.

Santa arrives within 30 minutes and gets out of his van.

He's got a LADDER, a BASEBALL BAT, a SHOTGUN and a HUGE DOG.

"What are you going to do", the house owner asks?

Santa said, "I'm going to put this LADDER up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this BASEBALL BAT. When the gorilla falls off, the DOG is trained to grab the gorilla's testicles and squeeze. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."

He hands the shotgun to the house owner.

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the house owner.

Santa replies, "If the gorilla knocks ME off the roof, SHOOT THE DOG."

Happy Married Life
Banta asked Santa, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"

Santa said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

Banta asked, "Can you explain?"

Santa said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each others decisions."

Still not convinced, Banta asked him, "Give me some examples"

Santa said, "Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"

Banta asked, "Then what is your role?"

Santa said, "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Syria, whether the European Union should lift sanctions over Zimbabwe, whether Tendulkar should retire, about Salman Khan's Marriage etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these."

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